Lessons from Sandy

Some things I knew, some things I did not. Sandy did not barrel in; rather, she crept into our evening like a welcome autumn storm. Calming, really, and quite romantic. Ten days later, we are tired of each other's company and had I known what a quiet, unwelcome guest she would be, I would never have stood staring at her from my kitchen sink. These days brought us some personal setbacks, but nothing, of course, to the many many people who lost homes, families or treasures. I do not compare my life to theirs. I only reflect on my little piece of the universe Sandy chose to invade.

 1. Never take Halloween for granted. Ellie was a scarecrow the Saturday before Halloween. The tulle episode still sits on her floor. 

2. When leaving your home for an overnight stay, remember your loofah. Washing without a washrag or scrub leaves you feeling like you did as good a job cleaning as Jacob. Which isn't good. 

3. People surprise you. I don't know how to phrase this one. . . I've gone back and forth trying to word it accurately. I think the most genuine way to say it is: (and after all, it's a blog, not a New York Times article. I write this for myself, not my job!) Friends and family I'd never expect to help, did. They called, asked, supported and prayed for us. Others' plates shrunk overnight and never even texted. Surprising, like I said, and a bit disheartening. A lesson for me, not a criticism on them. 

4. Ellie can use the phrase, "Mom, I need a beer" in correct context and with beautiful inflection. 

5. I knew Hillary and Kevin Shipp were darling and funny and great. I did not know they would be answers to my prayers.  

6. The majority of the country proved it does not think the way I do. I did not know it before Tuesday.

7. I knew Jacob and Nick were sweet boys. They are cooperative, flexible and very understanding. I learned how good they are. Truly, this experience brought out the best in them.

8. I love coffee. We are very close. We miss each other so much when we're not together in the morning, and when we don't know when we'll see each other again. It's painful, really.

9. Disasters can bring out the most resilient characteristics in us. They can also encourage our Quit.

10. Steve is a great daddy. I am so proud of myself for choosing him as a partner in all of This. He is dependable, funny, strong and honorable. I love him.

11. Sometimes, you have to stop to enjoy the moment and take in the scenery. In an effort to divert the troops, we took a nice driving tour of Allentown, PA. Right up there with the 2 hour lunch at Cracker Barrel, this was our favorite site. Yes, it reads Nappy BY CHOICE. As Leigh said, "Where is Miss Judy when you need her?" She would have died a second death at this.

12. When it can't get harder, it does. But you survive, or you die. And either way, according to my belief system, is pretty good. The snow came at just the time we didn't need it. Our house was cold, my family was tired (several different hotels, nights on mattresses in one bedroom, lots of peanut butter, no school, no friends, no RELIEF, no privacy) and I wasn't sure how to keep smiling when I felt like nursing a bottle of Bailey's. But Jacob's LSU Christmas hat made us laugh. And that, sometimes, is really all you need, yes?

13. Lastly, I realized that everyday, you need some naked time. Being dressed all day in front of your children in a bedroom or hotel room makes me feel suffocated. I missed the walk from the toilet to the shower, or the shower to the closet. Just the few moments to breathe by myself. And that was something Sandy taught me. It had never occurred to me before to seek out the Free Minute. But it makes a difference. Try.