Learned from my Mom

My mom once told me, "I know you better than you know yourself, Katie. Remember, I knew you before you knew you!" Good point. And I now understand what she meant--I doubt there will be much Ellie will share with me about herself that will be surprising. I know her.

And, she tried to explain, "You can never love me like I love you. You think you do because you love me a lot. But you don't. You won't understand until you are a mother." And, again. Good point. She was right. So I know my "lessons" from my mom won't nearly come close to describing her influence and importance in my life and on my self, but in honor's of Mother's Day, I wanted to reflect on why my mom is not necessarily "the best," or "the funniest," or "the coolest," or "the nicest," (for how can we really know any of that?), but why she is MY mom. And that is all that matters.

 

So, as a mom, when I encourage my kids with these "suggestions," I often preface them with, "Wow. Mamalise would SO say this if she were here!"

1. Join a club. 

It's good for you. You meet people that way. You'll enjoy yourself. If ever in my life I felt listless or lonely, this was the second thing she'd say, with the first thing being:

2. Put a little lipstick, you'll feel better. 

Enough said. Always true.

3. Pray.

Always, about everything, for whatever. Never stop asking, never stop hoping. Go to Mary and beg.

4. Know their name. 

Anyone and everyone. The plumber, the janitor, the kid in the hallway, the professor, the friend's mom, the lady who serves you coffee everyday, the sacker, the produce manager at your grocery store. . .right. Everyone. She told me once, "Everyone's favorite word in the English language is their own name. Use it. Look them in the eye when you say 'hello' and say their name. It will matter."

5. Try it (except for illegal substances and bad ideas). . . you never know.

6. Take lemonade out to the man mowing your grass--even if it's your brother.

7. Be a good sport, but. . .

8. Stand up for what and who you believe in.

This is really important (and sometimes hard). This is called integrity, and you are nothing without it. Figure out what it is you'd fight for, and for goodness' sakes, fight. And when someone needs or deserves your defense, defend them. Always. It will make you unpopular (which makes #1 kind of hard :)), it might mean your are misunderstood or left out, but that idea or that person is more important. 

9. Keep your elbows off the table.

I can't think of one exception. Not even BBQ or oysters.

10. Stand up straight.

Again, no exceptions. Often, I've heard her say, "Bless her heart. She'd be so pretty if she'd stand up straight and hold those shoulders back." Something about a ballet posture that makes you feel better, leaner, prettier and lovelier. Hold your tummy in, cross your ankles, and put an iron rod up your spine at all times.