The entire state of New Jersey is invited! Please come to my class, White Gloves and Party Manners. All are invited. I cannot wait to see you. Here is what you will learn:
1--No, absolutely, no, flipping off at ladies. Ever. Under any circumstances. Especially when they have the right of way when driving. You should be a gentleman at all times, yielding to them even when they are idiots (see Rhett Butler).
2--No accelerating to cut off other people. When merging, you should yield to other traffic. Not because you want to, but because it is the NICE thing to do.
3--No F%*# words. Ever. Especially in the grocery store. I heard one dropped the other day, followed by "she is such a bitch." What? In the grocery store? You need to wash your mouth out with soap (will be provided at class) and take a sugar pill. Your life is not difficult or complicated (see Somalia or Kenya for examples there).
4--When there is a lady behind in you line, and she's holding a baby, a gallon of milk and a cup of coffee (during a state-wide power outage because of a natural DISASTER), and another line opens up in this packed gas station check out, let her go first. Do not, I repeat, do not, cut in front of her to get to the register first. That. Is. Rude. And makes that gallon feel like a small elephant.
You know when you feel like you've been behind an 18-wheeler all day, going 17 mph? That's been today. I've just been stuck.
"Take a broader look at your life and recognize that you are a spiritual being having a human experience."
I love your blog Katie!
ReplyDeleteI am that crazy lady in the grocery store yelling at people who are talking And acting inappropriately. Hailey Grace will even tell the people to 'stop saying bad words because they aren't nice'.