Thicker than Blood

Blood is thicker than water

Oh, but love is thicker than blood.

So, big news flash. Nick and Jacob are not my biological children. They are from Steve's first marriage. Falling in love with Steve and realizing I was called to love him and be his partner began that whole "coloring outside the lines" thing when that man meant and fashioned for me came with two children I had not seen in my dreams.

Loving them and being their mother has brought special meaning to Mother's Day. It has made it a little less simple than I'd imagined it would be, but simultaneously, it's been this huge bonus in my life. God gave me three people instead of just one when I said "I do!" Because they live with us all the time, the lines of definition ease the confusion of common "shared" homes. I get the "Wow, you look good for having a high schooler!" often or the "Oh, how smart of you to give yourself a big break between groups of kids." If I like the woman, I explain. If I think she's being nosy, I just smile and let her think I had Nick in high school (senior year, to be precise). 

Moments after we were married, Jacob asked, "Can I call you Mommy now?" Despite the obvious highs of the day, this one brought me to my knees. 

I had prayed for children. I had prayed for someone to love and share my life with. I had prayed God would help me find the man He had intended for me. I didn't ever expect to get all my prayers answered in one day. Just never occurred to me. 

I love Nick and Jacob with a special love. It's a different love than my love for Ellie. It's more careful, less taken-for-granted, I think. I feel like I borrow them from God, not like they are mine (I know this is false even with Ellie, of course. No child belongs to us, anyway. They are gifts, to be loved and cherished and protected for as long as we're given them.).

But I feel as if they are mine to hug and hope for and protect and guide, but that the returned love is not obligatory. And that makes me want it and work harder for it. They made me a Mother, and for that, I am forever indebted to them. I love you, sweet boys. Thank you for calling me Mommy. xoxoxo