BC and AC

Dress up day. I wish everyday was.

Before Children, I had:

1. The top to my hairspray
2. Scissors
3. Paintbrushes in the clean bucket I put under my sink
4. Clean fingernails
5. Baths
6. Shiny car interior. I'm talking SHINY CLEAN.
7. Bobby pins
8. A Martha Stewart looking coffee table. With Martha Stewart looking breakable objects and fancy books.
9. My own bed
10. Long Saturday afternoon hair appointments
11. Less (aka NO) clutter
12. Two loads of laundry--a week
13. Lots of take-out
14. Dusted shelves
15. A cat

My sweets.

After Children, I have:

1. Topless toiletries
2. Lost modesty
3. Public bathroom lessons
4. Breaking fingernails
5. Mountains of laundry
6. Hiding Cheerios in my car
7. Lost objects. Nothing is anyone's "own" anymore.
8. A dog
9. Gray hair
10. Less time
11. Shorter mornings
12. Half of the bed
13. Lessons on tattling, bullying, sex, responsibility, lunch money
14. Mismatched socks
15. Peanut butter stuck to the counter. STUCK.

Getting a drink for Daddy. Sort of.

Of course, these are the things I think of when I'm frustrated. There is a different side to this list, and I love that one, too. I had things, time, independence, solitude, a small refrigerator--all were part of my particular picture of "SWF." Now, yes, I find Ellie wearing Steve's boxers around her head because she thinks they're "beee-yoo-te-FUL assessories" like Fancy Nancy, and Jacob in a pile of Legos when his room should be declared a National Disaster Site and Nick deep in a Halo book texting while turning pages. I find these things, these people, and they make me smile. Be still my heart! I have (and don't have) so much. God is good, all the time. And though I miss sometimes those quiet afternoons and dependably placed scissors, I would not give away my messy life for a clean car anyday. And I never thought I'd be able to say that.